What Trump Would Have Done Had He Been Sane

Philip Kotler

Donald Trump could have gained more fame and fortune from his Presidency if he had embraced the “Common Good.” Imagine Trump’s first statement on assuming his second Presidential term. “I am here to make your lives immediately better. Our major problem is the country’s growing income and wealth disparity. I have a simple solution. I will raise taxes on the rich. I will make it shameful to be a billionaire. Billionaires raise the cost of living to all of our people. Their private yachts and planes pollute the air and the water. Their wealth leads industries to focus on making more expensive goods and services, leaving less for the poor and middle class. They use their private wealth to gain an outsized influence on our domestic and foreign policies. Their existence makes a travesty of our so-called democracy. It is not one person, one vote.

I will take the money from higher taxes on the rich and use it to make sure that no one goes hungry in the United States or is ill-housed in the United States. I would put more money into improving the American health care system and lowering its cost. I will put more money into our public school system to provide superior education for our kids. The money will also help every capable person get an inexpensive college education.

True, the rich will object and many will attempt to send their money out of the country. We know this and we have set up controls to stop banks and financial institutions from doing this. We will appoint thousands of new Internal Revenue Agents to check where the rich hide their unreported money in unidentified bank accounts.

I realize that I made two big mistakes. I should not have adopted the slogan “American First.” That is a sure way of losing the rest of world’s confidence that America wants to build a better and more peaceful world. The other mistake is to advocate higher tariffs on all our allies and competitors. This will result in higher costs for all American products and services. Consumers will see on their bills how much tariffs have added to their costs.

I, Donald Trump, want to earn your respect. True, I am doing this for you but I am also doing this for me. I would like to be rated as one of the best U.S. Presidents. I would like to have my face sculpted on Mount Rushmore. I would like to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. I cannot stand the idea that Obama received a Nobel Peace Prize and that he ranks higher than me in the Presidential rankings. I will make sure that America “Will be Great Again” not only in our eyes but in the world’s eyes.

I will give more aid to the free nation of Ukraine. I will make sure that the people in Gaza are safe again.

My fellow Republicans. Please join me in making America great again. Let’s scrap my “Big Beautiful Bill”. Let’s not add $4 trillion to the national debt. Let’s not strip health care from 17 million Americans. Let’s not make household energy $250 more expensive per year. Let’s not close 1 in 4 nursing homes. Let’s not cut food assistance to our families, kids and veterans. Let’s not repeal the $100 billion that should go to clean air and climate programs. And let’s not spend $100 billion on haphazard and cruel immigration enforcement. Let’s not build any concentration camps.

Now can I count on getting all your votes?

President Donald Trump